


It's How Things Change

by definitelyflowers



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 19:58:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6343186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitelyflowers/pseuds/definitelyflowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Landon is unsure of how to deal with the realization that he's falling in love with Diego.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's How Things Change

He finds Diego curled into the corner, his small body pressed into itself. Little sobs, barely audible above the usual screaming and sex of the other patrons, fill the room. Landon stands in the doorway and watches. Minutes pass without Diego acknowledging him, though the scribe is sure he's been heard. He waits. His mind wanders to their meetings over the past year, the quick, drunk fucks and shouting matches.

Something's changed.

Diego hiccups and wipes away a few stray tears. Landon stays still, rigid. He's used to being commanded by others. It doesn't bother him to let Diego control the situation. He likes it.

"Go away." The words are just words, petty and meaningless. Diego scoots further against the wall, and Landon takes it as the invitation as it is. He moves across the cramped quarters in two quick strides and settles in on the old mattress. The bedframe creaks under his weight.

He places his hand on Diego's back, running his palm up and down the protruding ridges of Diego's spine. It worries him, it always does. Through the rips and tears in Diego's shirt, Landon can see old scars and burns. The crevices of his elbows reveal puckered flesh yearning for the sting of another needle.

Landon never cared before, but now he can't help the twisting in his stomach. It tosses his dinner as if a raging sea, and he worries. The boy lives in Goodneighbor because that's where people who want sex and chems go. Landon has always come here for the sex. 

It started as an angry fit and has become something precious, something he looks forward to. Thinking about Diego clinging to med-x, to other men in the night, upsets him. Landon hates this change. He doesn't know when it happened, but his hand keeps comforting Diego's tense shoulders and he stays planted by his side.

Diego's sniffles die down, and Landon waits until all that's left of his tears is heavy breathing. Then he speaks. "I'm not going to leave you. Take your time."

Diego shifts from the corner, giving Landon a glimpse of his bloodshot eyes underneath long strands of hair. His free hand pushes them away, and he presses a gentle kiss to Diego's forehead. He pulls Diego into a tight hug and rocks him back and forth, murmuring and caressing until Diego stops shaking.

"I saw him today. He was talking to Daisy."

Landon wants to know, wants to demand a who, but he stays quiet. Months ago, maybe he would have squeezed the answers out of Diego, twisted them from his lips. Months ago, he wouldn't have cared. He wouldn't have found himself holding Diego without the intent of fucking. Yet here he sits, ready to spend an eternity in silence for a few quiet words in the darkness. It baffles him, terrifies him. He's about to rip himself away and create a distance he doesn't feel when Diego speaks again, his cheek against Landon's firm chest.

"His name is Johnny. He made me."

"Made you?" Landon ventures. Diego nods, the scruff of his unshaven face scraping against Landon's shirt. He sighs.

"He took me. They wanted to kill me, but Johnny had other ideas. He loved me a whole lot, but I was never very good at it."

Landon begins to realize there is more to Diego than inviting smiles and soft hands. He has denied it for so long, it seems impossible that it should happen like this. Diego reveals his humanity in concise, tired tones.

"He stole ten years of my life and convinced me it was a gift. It took a lot to get here. I nearly died, again and again. He followed me, kept his dogs on me. He was glad I left, I knew that. He wanted to slice me up." Diego coughs and shudders. "This one is from that."

He touches his left shoulder gently. Landon doesn't need to see it to know that it's there. He's always wondered but never asked. It wasn't his place.

"Johnny.” Rage bubbles inside him.

"Outside of Goodneighbor, he decided I wasn't worth his time anymore. He shot me in the thigh and tied me up. Told me that he'd let me live. He took a damn switchblade and wrote his name in my skin. Then he left me." Diego pauses, chuckles softly. "I didn't know he could read."

Landon has no response to this. He knows he should say something, anything, to relieve the tension building between them, but his mind works too rapidly for his mouth to keep up. Diego only sighs, unwinding himself from Landon's thick arms.

"Listen, if you don't want to stick around, I understand. I don't expect you to put up with my shit."

"I'll kill him."

Diego laughs. "You'd like to, wouldn't you? He's got friends."

"I have more friends, and they wear power armor."

"It's not worth it."

"Why?"

Landon rests his hand on Diego's thigh, kissing the place where the scar is through a thin layer of fabric. He waits. With Diego, he knows he'll always wait.

"Because I don't want you to. I've had a lot of time to adjust. A lot of chems to numb it. You go out there, you do this so you can feel like a man, and you peel the wound right back open. I'm telling you, Johnny won't bother me anymore. His group needs Goodneighbor, and he knows I've been fucking Hancock.”

"You're still fucking Hancock?" It's drastic, the change in subject, but he can't help himself. He watches Diego's eyes light up.

"Jealous?"

"Yes." It's the honest truth. He decides to punctuate it with another dose. "I don't want you to fuck anyone but me."

"And you keep your dick to yourself?"

"That's different."

"Yeah. Listen, I'm tired. Maybe you should go."

"I told you I wasn't going to leave."

"Then let me rephrase it. Go away."

Diego tries to push himself out of Landon's arms, but not before Landon pulls him into a kiss. Their lips meet, and neither man can keep himself from falling into their old patterns. Landon likes the anger. He knows Diego likes it, too, because the smaller man climbs onto his lap and deepens the kiss. They always start it like this, and for a second, nothing has changed.

Then Diego pauses the kiss, his breath erratic, and he smiles. It's an odd one, higher at one edge than the other. His lip ring is slightly out of place, and his cheeks are dusky. "I don't want you to fuck other people, either."

The words surprise Landon, and he stills underneath Diego's body. "You mean," he pauses, unsure of his next step. He thinks it over for a long moment, and it's Diego's turn to be patient. "What do you mean?"

"I'll come with you this time. This doesn't have to be what it's been."

"You can't. I have responsibilities. This was never supposed to be a regular thing."

Diego chuckles and trails kisses along Landon's jaw. He whispers against Landon's ear. "Oh, you're not my knight here to rescue me?"

"I'm not a knight."

"You take it all so seriously."

"It is serious."

Diego stops his light kisses and stares at Landon’s face. He shakes his head. His long bangs tumble forward onto his forehead, obscuring his eyes.

"It's bullshit, Landon. You've met a ton of ghouls. Hell, you spend more time here than with your so-called brothers. They brought you here, but you're not a gear in a machine. Everything will work, with or without you."

"And then what? I'll be waiting after you as you stuff your arms with chems? We'll be a merc duo? That's not how the world is."

"Then how is it?" Diego is angry now, Landon can see it. They break apart, Diego back in his corner and Landon scooting to the far side of the bed.

"This is the way it is,” Landon says.

"That's a lie. Tell me the truth. If you want to keep coming around, at least do that for me."

Landon's stomach resumes its fits. He tries to put it the simplest way in his head, to set himself straight before he runs his mouth, but he can't find anything to say. He pushes his hand through his hair and sighs. "I think I love you."

"But?"

"Yeah," he can't face Diego, can't look at his disappointment. "I think I love you, but I think I love someone else. It's complicated."

"Go away."

He stands, nodding. Landon picks up his bag and walks to the door. He thinks about looking behind, about trying to explain himself further, but when he hears Diego begin to cry again, he has nothing else to say.

Landon closes the door behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this, check me out on tumblr: definitelyflowers.tumblr.com
> 
> Eventually I'll gather these into some semblance of a story with a happy ending.


End file.
